Hafeez Sumani
Hafeez is a Magician King and such a valuable member to not only our community, but our team. This guy is a well of wisdom, knowledge, and creativity. It is truly an honour to have him with us!
We call Hafeez “The Alchemist” and we don’t take that gesture lightly. This man is deeply connected to nature, and is passionate about healing arts (Qi Gong, breathwork, etc.).
Enjoy getting to know more about Hafeez in this interview. Ubuntu.
Tell us about your mental health story and what does that look like now
I was a former national track & field athlete that competed in the 200/400m event. It consumed every aspect of my life at that time. Training 5 to 6 days a week, it was a full time job in addition to being a full time student. Many incredible experiences and achievements but I had the underlying belief that I was not enough and if I make the olympics then I will be worthy of love… “if I do this... then I will be happy “ It is a classic story framework that many can relate to that ultimately creates suffering.
Long story short.. I made the difficult decision to retire after numerous injuries and this catapulted me into a state of identity crisis. The end of a chapter brought forward a new chapter of self discovery and exploring my inner psyche all for the sake of finding inner peace. I read as many books as I could on positive psychology and self help books, I got into yoga, meditation and healing arts like Breath work and Chi Gong. I apprenticed under a Chi Gong Master for several years, learning how to regulate my nervous system and boost my vitality. Victor Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” he talks about the space between stimulus and response and within that space is our power to choose how we respond no matter what the external environment dictates. This is where I consciously choose to live my life on a daily basis… This is where my super power of remaining calm comes from. Everyone has the ability to access this space at any given moment in time.
What are a few men's mental health stigmas you have had to reimagine along the way?
One of the biggest stigmas that I had to reimagine was the realization of how important it is to share what is in your heart and gut. Vulnerability is not weak, on the contrary it is strength and courage. We don't necessarily have to have it all together… The truth is no one really does but we are in a society where we are all faking it to a degree… twisting and contorting ourselves to appear like we are okay. Emotions come and go and it's perfectly okay to have unpleasant ones. it's perfectly okay to not be okay! Your emotions are like a compass, and as humans we have a full range of emotions that we can express… the key is having an outlet or a safe space to express them without any judgement. There is enough of that in the world.
Scenario: A man in your life is struggling with his mental health (emotional storm, spiralling downwards, stuck, etc.), what three simple actionables would you offer him to support him through this?
Get out of your head and into your body. First thing is to take a time out and secondly is to feel into it and Breathe.Pause, tune in , Breath (PTB) If it's intense then I would recommend moving the body like tapping or shaking to disrupt the pattern of thinking.
Name one book that has been influential for your mental health and for redefining your masculinity? What's an insight that you took away from reading this?
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I was a former athlete that was stuck in the story of who I was “Supposed to be” the resistance was creating so much turmoil and suffering in my life. I felt like I was the main character in the story. One of the key takeaways was that there are no extraordinary moments… everything is extraordinary and that is experienced from moment to moment. This helped me to accept what is..as opposed to resisting and after surrendering I had a deep sense of peace that has stayed with me since
Define a healthy conscious version of masculinity.
Healthy conscious version of masculinity is one who remains open and curious while remaining grounded. Spine is straight, chin is up, shoulders are relaxed, chest is open, hands are steady, feet planted (not figgiding). Slow, deep and deliberate breaths from the belly… The one who breathes the deepest is the one who holds the space. Any action or thought that comes from that space brings deep levels of trust and connection. Everything else is just extra… you don’t have to wear a fancy suit or have some level of material possessions to exude any of this. Everything that you need.. You already have… it all comes from within.
Who are current role models/mentors/inspirations? Choose one male and one female. How have they impacted your life?
This is a tough one to answer. I draw inspiration from all walks of life. Family, friends, strangers, books etc. I believe every encounter that we have with people are lessons. Whether it is for a moment, season or a lifetime there is always a lesson to be learned. These lessons will repeat until they are learned. Life throws a beach ball at you first and if you don’t heed it.. eventually it becomes a bowling ball. These lessons help us integrate to become more of who we already are.
Scenario: You time travelled back to your younger self as a boy. You have 30 seconds to deliver a piece of wisdom from the you today. What do you say to him?
I would tell my younger self as a boy, that I’m proud of you. Stay open, stay curious and you don’t have to have it all figured out. Enjoy the journey and you are loved and get some bitcoins haha :)
You can follow Hafeez on Instagram at @sparks_of_yugen
