Will Tanner
Will is the Kings of Hearts newest Advocate Member and is a force to be reckoned with!
It’s still very early on, but the reason why Will is chosen to be in the King’s Community is for his energy and level of commitment to the inner work.
He put his hand up to be a man of service, and that is a brave act for any man to take on. Will a leader by example and we are excited for you to learn more about him. Read on!
Tell us about your mental health story and what does that look like now.
I have been so lucky in my life and my mental health. The majority of my mental health struggles have been around shame and guilt, and overall self-worth. These things started popping up in high school and middle school - respectively. I am now 30 years old, and only in the last five or so years have I have been able to overcome these struggles. It has taken a lot of internal forgiveness, acceptance, allowance, and surrender to get over them. Forgiveness of past actions, acceptance of my true abilities, and surrender to the feelings I have conditioned in myself to be identified, embodied, and transcended. It is constant work, but my baseline is now bliss.
Scenario: A man in your life is struggling with his mental health (emotional storm, spiralling downwards, stuck, etc.), what three simple actionables would you offer him to support him through this?
The first is always to breathe. The breath brings us into the present moment, a space where our struggles rarely exist. The second is to talk about what is happening to a trusted friend or therapist, as things are always larger when they are only in our minds. The third would be to journal about something specific, depending on what is happening. It may be to write a list of what is in your control and what is not. It may be to write a list of what steps I know I can take to move through this. Or it may just be to write about what is happening and what emotions are arising from it. Journaling is a powerful tool for men as it gives us a logical and straightforward way to access emotions, to see what we are feeling.
Define a healthy conscious version of masculinity.
A healthy version of masculinity is a very balanced expression of classic archetypes. Warrior, king, magician, lover, and I would like to add jester, as it is an archetype that can exist within each of the core four that can add to its power. A balanced man will be efficient in most situations however, in the areas where it is out of the scope, he will admit it. He will hold the space immediately and pivot towards a solution that likely lies in finding someone with the tools to handle what is happening. A conscious man will know when to take the lead, and when to follow... He does this out of a sense of selflessness at all times.
What are a few men's mental health stigmas you have had to reimagine along the way?
There are so many! Such as anything within our current pop-culture narrative about masculine truths. For example, "to suck it up" is the biggest one coming to my mind. It's the situation where a man has a triggered emotion but feels that to keep his "masculinity" he is not to allowed to feel these emotions. He is meant to be an unshakeable statue and not ever need to process what has happened in a way where there is time and space for him to feel the emotion and learn from it.
Who are current role models/mentors/inspirations? Choose one male and one female. How have they impacted your life?
The current male role model that I would like to share is a mentor who has become a very dear friend, and I look up to this man because though he has decades of knowledge and experience, he doesn't pretend to know everything and is not afraid to reach out for support. He is also humble to the T, his actions are always taken with the power of love and with the intention of assistance. He has impacted my life by being himself and showing that it is okay for me to be myself in every moment.
My current feminine role model. No single woman is coming to me at this moment. What is coming to me is the archetypical grandmother whom I see in so many women. I view this archetype as gentle and kind but able to reach for the wooden spoon when necessary, and often all they need to do is reach to get their point across. These women are so powerful by their presence and can be change-makers in our societies when not influenced too heavily by their egos. I look so up to these women that find their medicine and practice and live it. They are so embodied in their arts that they become masterpieces themselves.
You can follow Will on Instagram at @captaintanner
